Living bolder! – Carl Honoré’s Saying
Aging is inevitable – so how do we age better and feel better about it? Face it, society doesn’t generally make us feel very good about getting older – all we hear about is that younger is always better, and that the act of growing older is somehow shameful, grim, ugly and scary, says author and ageism disruptor Carl Honoré.
That’s so not the truth. “No age is perfect but the truth is that many things stay the same and some things even get better as we get older,” says the author of Bolder: Making the Most of our Longer Lives. “Every age can be wonderful but only if we embrace it: We need to embrace the present without pining for the past or shrinking from the future – only if we embrace aging as an adventure.” As a privilege.
The author wants to help you get bolder as you get older and enjoy the luminous journey. “David Bowie once described aging as ‘an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been.’ I love that idea. That as we grow older we become more – not less – ourselves.”
Seniors are doing amazing things
He admits his own thinking about aging has shifted since researching and writing Bolder. Research shows that people are generally more contented in later life. “As we age, we become more comfortable in our own skin and less worried about what others think of us. We tend to form stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Aging can also make us more altruistic,” says Carl.
There’s never been a better time to age! Thanks to better nutrition, technology, medicine and exercise, the physical decline brought on be aging can be slowed down which means we can go on doing amazing things with our bodies as we navigate the aging journey, he says. “Today, the average over-65-year-old is in better shape than ever before.” And furthermore “the conventional wisdom that romance and bedroom fireworks belong to the young is flat-out wrong. Hurray!”
You are what you think
There’s fireworks on the business front too. Studies show you’re more likely to create a successful start up in middle age or beyond. That it improves collaboration in diverse work groups. Productivity, creativity and social smarts rise with age – “I also feel more entrepreneurial, more able to turn risk into reward.”
Don’t let age define or limit you. “Just look at the burgeoning army of people running marathons in their seventies, climbing mountains in their eighties and cycling cross-country in their nineties. Welcome to the age of the centenarian sky-diver.”
Thinking more positive about aging gives us a boost: We live longer, walk faster, stand a better chance of recovering from disability and even perform better on memory and motor control tests, according to research.
The real challenge facing us is not aging, he stresses, but it’s ageism. We need to adopt more optimistic and realistic views, and ditch prevailing toxic ageist attitudes and diminishing language. “We need to rewrite the rules of everything, from the workplace and education to design and social services.”
Tips to age boldly
Make time to learn, work, rest, care for others, volunteer, create and have fun all the way through our lives. “Aging can be a bonus rather than a burden,” says Carl. He offers these 12 rules to age boldly:
1. Keep on learning and experimenting. The adage that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks isn’t even true of dogs. Novelty keeps you energised and engaged.
2. Cultivate strong relationships.
3. Draw inspiration from role models. Think Helen Mirren, David Attenborough or even Michelangelo, who rebuilt St Peter’s Basilica in his 80s.
4. Keep brain and body fit by exercising and eating right.
5. Channel Marie Kondo. If something – a job, a friendship, etc – no longer sparks joy, drop it. Streamline to make every moment count.
6. Find a purpose that puts meaning in your life and fire in your belly.
7. Be honest about your age. Lying gives the number a power it does not deserve – and reinforces the myth that younger is always better. Owning your age is the first step to making the most of it.
8. Remain flexible and open to change, growth and evolution. As Lao Tzu put it: “Whoever is soft and yielding is a disciple of life. The hard and stiff will be broken. The soft and supple will prevail.”
9. Ignore the doom-mongers who say sex, love and romance belong to the young: they do not. Make room for all three however you old you are, if that’s what you fancy.
10. If you think growing older will be bad, it will be bad. Be positive and focus on the upsides of ageing: feeling more at ease in your own skin; deeper relationships; more happiness, altruism, creativity, knowledge, experience.
11. Cultivate a sense of humour. Laughing boosts health and longevity. As George Bernard Shaw put it: ‘You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.’
12. Think about death. Don’t dwell morbidly on it, but don’t shy away from it, either. An awareness that time is finite gives life shape and meaning – and spurs you to make the most of here and now.
Read about Rethink Aging With Colin Milner